Spider Flowers
by violaqu33n
Summary: Shikamaru and Temari are newly married, and they ask Ino to make a speech. Oh boy, this should be good. Shikatema duh and slight InoKiba.


Disclaimer: This is my first real story that really doesn't slam Ino. Go me for being open minded. I think the Angels and Demons series is officially done, unless I can think of better evil monsters to use as a metaphor. If you have an idea for a monster/demon/dark beast kind of thing, message me ASAP. Don't own Naruto.

The many guests at the wedding clapped and cheered as Ino graciously rose to her feet and looked for all the world like a benevolent queen gazing upon her subjects. She smiled to the crowd, and her blue eyes darted around nervously.

"So Temari asked me to make a speech for the wedding, and it took me all last night, but I think I've done it. This is a story about how a lazy boy"-and Naruto and Chouji laughed to Shikamaru's right-"fell in love with the most boyish girl I know." Sakura and TenTen snickered into their hands.

"One miserable day, Shikamaru absolutely hobbled into my flower shop and dripped water all over the bloody floor. And I didn't kill him on the spot, thankfully, and I asked him what the hell he wanted, cuz he was definitely cleaning up that puddle.

And he gets all embarrassed and stares blushing and doing whatever Shika does when he's embarrassed. And then he asks me what kind of flower a girl would like. And I was still kind of pissed about that humongous puddle, but I was way _way_ too interested to care.

So I give him a heliotrope, cuz it's pretty and I knew he shouldn't try to come on too strong and stuff. Well he must have managed not to have scared her off"- and everyone laughed-"because he comes back and asks me for another flower! I was like 'Oh my GOD, Shika got a girlfriend!' And he blushes and does whatever, and I find him this book all about the meanings of flowers and stuff. So he grabs a purple lilac and goes off. And I figured that he was pretty serious, so I didn't really say anything.

And he keeps coming back, and after about seven months, he asks me for a _red rose_, and I almost lost it. A RED ROSE, I mean c'mon, how classy is that? So I'm all pumped the next day, waiting for him to hear all about if she liked it, and he doesn't come. Doesn't even stop in to say hi.

And I didn't want to make him get all closed lipped on me, so I didn't want to like, make him mad at me, but I got really concerned, cuz he didn't show up for training or BBQ, and Chouji was making me pay, but anyways, so I show about and his place, all 'Hey are you ok?', right?

And his mom opens the door, and just give me this look like, 'Oh thank god, someone remembers he's even alive', and I go up stairs, and he's just _mopping_ in his bed, like some sad little girl. Pathetic, really. And I asked him if he wants to talk about it, and he gives me this story about how women are just _so troublesome_ and that Temari left the village and he didn't get to give her the stupid rose.

So I get him over to Tsunade at one in the freakin' morning, and she just lets him go to Suna, just like that! And I think we wouldn't be here right now if she had said no, eh? So three days later, I get a collect call from Suna, and I was pretty pissed, cuz it was early, and I had to pay for it, but then the caller ID says it from the Kazekage's place, and I picked up, and Shika here is just bursting, all happy, cuz Temari was all bitchy without him, and they"-air quotes-"had a great time yesterday, I didn't wanna know.

So she moved in with him, and he would get her flowers after missions and stuff, and I saw them both a lot, which was cool, because I could make sure they hadn't killed each other yet. And after almost a whole bloody year, Shika walks in, obviously for another flower, and just goes through the book of flower meanings, looking for something, I dunno, and then he goes and picks up a spider flower." Ino paused to catch her breath and took a long sip of champagne.

"AND OH MY GOD, I ALMOST LOST IT RIGHT THERE, CUZ SPIDER FLOWERS ARE A REQUEST TO ELOPE, AND IT WAS SOOO SWEET, CUZ SHIKA NEVER DOES ANYTHING NICE AND…And…yeah it was pretty adorable.

And I just went into the back of the store, all crazy and happy, cuz Shika would be getting' engaged soon, and I ran over to my mom, like 'Mom, Mom, call the Yoshino, Shika's proposing tonight!' And she didn't believe me, cuz she doesn't think Shika has a romantic bone in his body, but I showed her the receipt, and she almost lost her mind, and then she called Yoshino, and then they _both_ just went crazy.

And, of course, Temari just comes in the next day, screaming and jumping around, waving her hand right in my face, cuz there's this big diamond on her finger, and she just couldn't believe it, and it was the best day of her life, and blah, blah, she couldn't shut up about it. And then Yoshino comes in, screaming cuz her _baby's _getting hitched, and it was enough to make you want to just puke, they were so happy." She giggled drunkenly and looked down at Shikamaru and Temari, who were completely mortified at this point.

"Did I say something wrong?" Chouji nodded at her from across the table and she giggled again. Temari pulled her down into her chair by the elbow. Shikamaru stood up apologetically.

"Sorry about that. Um, thanks for coming, and please drive safely!" And everyone laughed once more and started to leave the enormous reception hall. Temari and Shikamaru lingered a few minutes longer, dancing slowly in a circle, while Ino fumbled around for her clutch purse.

When she finally found it on the floor, and stretched down to grab it, a strong hand grabbed her shoulder and with a scream, she slapped them away, only to do a double check at the 'attacker' and see Kiba rubbing his cheek and a handprint painted bright red on his face.

Ino looked like her face was about to explode, but she controlled the urge to burst out laughing and draped an unladylike arm around his shoulders, pulling him uncomfortably close to her rather large, although nowhere close to Tsunade, chest.

"Say, would you care to walk a lady home?" She winked at him and Kiba felt his hands go numb. HELLS YEAH BABY!

Or at least that's what he wanted to say. What came out was a strangled sort of nod, and then a huge thumbs up to the direction of Lee's back. Thank god they didn't check him for vodka.


End file.
